Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
