im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
