"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize