he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
