I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize