I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Randomize
