was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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