I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
