Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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