You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
