Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just made my gag reflex go away.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
