He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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