Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
