i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
