If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
