What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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