I just saw a hot homeless man
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
