That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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