What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
