He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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