I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
