Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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