I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Send help, water and tortillas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
