please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
