omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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