im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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