Whod you bang
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
