using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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