dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
