You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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