I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
