my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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