Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
