They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
