She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
