it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
