so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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