i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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