All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
