There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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