anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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