The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
