I could have mohawked her pubes.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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