i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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