I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
