also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
whose parrot is this?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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