margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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