I will die if light touches me.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
