I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
