never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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