I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize