ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
