he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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