two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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