I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i can't believe i had my finger in that
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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