I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
