Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
