just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
