your parents love me but you hate me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
