I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
