I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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