? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
